Dealing with the Impact

Feelings of confusion, disbelief, and panic are just a few of the distressing traumatic responses that partners of sex addicts exhibit as they realize that their trusted mate has lived a secret life. For many partners, intrusive and repetitive thoughts, rage, and profound sadness can leave lasting emotional scars and PTSD-like symptoms. Because so much of the initial focus within a relationship is on helping the sex addict stabilize and ensure they start treatment, partners of sex addicts may feel “stuck” and unsure of where they can turn to address their needs, fears and trauma. At Full Heart Recovery, we have met with far too many partners of sex addicts who initially sought support from professionals that encouraged them to do things like watch pornography with their partner or give into every sexual request their partner makes, thus further traumatizing the partner and emboldening the sex addict to continue acting out sexually.

The clinical team at Full Heart Recovery is trained to support the partners of sex addicts as they work through the trauma and help to establish boundaries so that they can start to feel safe within their relationship and begin the healing process.

Healing for the partner of a sex addict, the sex addict, and managing their relationship are each separate issues. It is critically important that each individual in the affected couple participate in their own therapy to determine if they wish to repair and heal their relationship or work towards an amicable and healthy divorce. As a treatment team, Full Heart Recovery therapists collaborate (only when authorized by the clients) to help couples meet their individual and joint goals. We believe that in the early stages of recovery, the couple should have a few joint sessions in order to establish guidelines, set boundaries, establish safety for the partner, and help the couple communicate effectively. As each individual continues healing and recovering, the couple may choose to pursue weekly couples therapy session with an expert sex addictions therapist.

Partners of sex addicts who wish to start their own healing at Full Heart Recovery have numerous options for support. The first appointment will last approximately 75 minutes. During this session, a trained and licensed mental health professional conducts an assessment, with a specific focus on screening for trauma symptoms and helping the partner set boundaries regarding how they wish to interact with the sex addicted individual in their life. We find that because no partner of a sex addict “signed up” to be in a relationship with a sex addict, they are often so shocked and in disbelief that making healthy and even simple decisions can be a daunting endeavor. This disorientation, forgetfulness, intense range of emotions or numb emptiness are all trauma symptoms related to the betrayal they have experienced. Partners of sex addicts may also elect to participate in biofeedback and neurofeedback therapy to reduce trauma symptoms.

Call us now to schedule an appointment if you are the partner, spouse or family member of a sex addict and experience any of the following:

• Rage
• Shame
• Numbness or lack of emotion
• Periods of disbelief
• Guilt
• Periods of forgetfulness that did not occur previously
• Periods of disorientation
• Anxiety
• Sleeplessness
• Intrusive thoughts associated with the sex addict’s behavior
• Visualization of information you’ve learn about the sex addict’s behavior
• Depression
• A sense of insecurity around the sex addict
• Beginning to question who you can really trust